Monday, June 19, 2017

In Which We All Learn what Aquagenic Urticaria Is

Time to take a lookity-loo at Master Comics #68!

Well, with a cover like that, you know the CMJ story will have something in it, but first....

True that.  It never hurts to be reminded that we shouldn't be a chump.

Oh, wow... this is still a thing:

Hmmmm.... you know, I'm actually grooving on that purse.  Check it out:

I tried to find a photo of it, but no luck.  I would not only buy Beloved that purse, I would insist she carry it with here whenever she went anywhere with me.

Meanwhile, let's check in with Bulletman and Bulletgirl:

I'm starting to wonder if Bulletman doesn't have an inner ear problem or something.

Wow.  So the Bullets' biggest weakness is people who stop suddenly.  It's never what you think, and it's always more simple than you'd expect.

Enough of that.  Show me CMJ fighting a gorilla like the cover promised:


He was blinded with water?   He must suffer from aquagenic urticaria.  That's really a hardship.

And then this happened:

Hmmmm... that took quite a turn.  Then again, the guy suffered from aquagenic urticaria so he wasn't the luckiest person.  He probably shouldn't have tempted fate.

Hey, let's check in with Jim and Sis!

Well, that was a hard truth Tom laid on Jim, but that's what friends do.   Jim and Sis may not get invited to proms and parties, but he can count on Tom to give him the straight poop and Jim can take comfort in that.  That, and the fact that all the other kids in town are such superficial douchebags that they won't invite kids who have dermatological issues to social events.

See you soon!

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Meet a Bit-O-Honey!

I know I'm way behind, but I finally got around to reading All-Star Batman and Robin.  In a nutshell, it's tied for "worst Batman story ever" along with the "Death of the Family" crossover.

So, let's cleanse my palate with Master Comics #67:

Is this an authentic representation of armor?  Because if so, I think it'd be easy to slip around behind the guy and sever his Achilles tendon.  I mean, not to be too graphic or anything, but it looks like his weakness is all yellow and eye-catching and whatnot.

Anyway, like most comics, Master Comics struggled to find it's place in a post-WWII world:

But apparently, the folks at Master Comics weren't convinced we finished the job:

This is news to me.  Any history buffs out there want to bring us up to speed?

Wow.  Harsh.  Someone tell me if this criticism is warranted.  I suppose it could have been warranted at the time and then rendered moot by subsequent efforts, but I really don't know.  Hey, I write a comic blog.  You people are supposed to educate me.

Now here's something disturbing:

Where shall we begin?  I find the image disturbing for a little girl to offer something called a Bit-o-Honey to a boy pretending to be an authority figure.  And hey, kids!  Send off for a free course in numerology!  Learn all about the divine, mystical connotations of the number of letters in your name!  Yay!

Check out another kid with a bike name:

Wow... Merilee is pretty hardcore about keeping bike owners separate from non-bike owners.

I mean, it works out for Betty, I suppose:

Yes, Betty, you have been tentatively admitted to a group of girls who had no interest in you until you had a new bike.

See you soon!

Monday, June 5, 2017

The Return of.... Eh, I'm not Spoiling It

Time to check out Master Comics #66!  Hey, I think we're about halfway through Master Comics, so I need to figure out what we're going to do next!

Meanwhile, here's issue #66:

CMJ looks a little lost there.  Not that I don't understand it, considering one sand dune looks like the next.  Well, at least I would imagine they all look similar.  It's not like I've spent a lot of time in the desert.  I'm not much of a traveler.

Hey, Germany fell!  They never really mentioned it before, but here's my clue:

And take a look at this stuff:

I Googled that "magic folder" but didn't find anything.  I'd like to see it, but there it is.

Meanwhile, this ad got me curious:

This isn't my main question, but doesn't R.C. seem like he's really happy about the theater fire?  Are we sure he didn't start it?

I know you're waiting for me to put the video up for "We Didn't Start the Fire," but that ain't happening.


Okay, based on Quickie's obsession, are we 100% sure he didn't have some sort of substance abuse problem and he was using Royal Crown Cola as a way of coping?

Anyway... look who's back:

I know, right?  I never thought we'd see this guy again, but there he is.

That's probably a lot more profitable than his previous schtick.  

You look like an all right guy.  I don't judge a man based on helmets he wears under his hat.

But Dr. Carver isn't quite as obtuse...

But don't worry... Bulletgirl is out there!  Thusly:

Yeah.  That happened.

And since Bulletgirl tested me, here's her stellar performance from the previous issue: 


Let's check out an ad!

Wow... that is one of the most hideous things I've ever seen.  Whatever became of Janne of Hollywood?  Google isn't telling me anything.  That's twice, Google.

See you soon!

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

"Stop Teasing Me for a Bicycle," and other Things I've Never Said. At Least, That's what I'll Say in Court.

So, I'm hearing decent buzz about Wonder Woman, and I'm glad.  I don't understand people who are rooting for a movie to be a bomb.  Anyone who doesn't want a movie about comics to be good isn't really a fan.

Let's take a brief look at Master Comics #64:

Oy.  You have to give it to CMJ for trying to put Radar over, but I don't exactly see him and say, "This character needs a statue," know what I mean?

Anyway, here he is in action:

The mind-reading he has down.  Keeping his own mouth shut rather than blurting out his strategy to his opponent, not so much.

Here's something that caught my eye:+

You know, if Bulletgirl is willing to shoot a criminal, why doesn't she carry a gun?  You know, just as a safety net for one of the many times she's defeated in combat?

I've posted this ad for two reasons:

1) Because I can't believe this is actually generating any sales that warrant continued ads and
2) because I wanted to give you proof that if I ever make reference to "Mary's secret visit to Santa" that I'm not talking about anything dirty.

Speaking of things that sound dirty but aren't:

That's... an interesting use of the word "teasing," and one that could probably get you a visit from the local authorities if you repeated it.

Here's an expression I didn't know was a thing:

Well, by ginger, if you name your kid "Speedy Wheeler," you're being kind of a jerk by not getting him a bicycle from the moment he's no longer sleeping in a crib or a dresser drawer or whatever people used back then.

Here's an odd premium:

I tried to find this online because I want to know what celebrities posed for it, but no luck.  I also checked out the address on Google Maps, and I can't tell what that building was.  Take a look at it and see if you agree that it looks like someone might have been running this out of their apartment.

See you soon!

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Protected from Bullets, but Not from Blows

Whew, it's been a rough week back!  Let's just take a look at some random stuff I noticed while going through Master Comics!

His name in the rest of the story is "Bulletthug," but I think "Bullethug" is much more interesting.  It's kind of like when Jennifer Grey got that nose job... don't be afraid to be unique, folks.

Let's check in on Radar, master of disguise!

Yeah!  Master of disguise!

What's up with CMJ? 

This is something that doesn't happen nearly as often as it should.

Good golly, Jim!  Have you never heard of marijuana?  Or any of the bajillion of other sedatives out there?  If we're looking to put people in chemical straightjackets, there's no shortage of options out there.  I realize there's only so much you had going on in the police laboratory back in the day, but talk about reinventing the wheel.

Soooooo... you are impervious to harm from bullets, but completely vulnerable to an old man smacking you with a chair.


Did you give one to Mastro Arterio?  And why are you so damned attractive?

So, who is this guy?  Well, he had a career in movie "serials" (in fact, he was in the last ones produced by Universal Pictures and Columbia Pictures) that he parlayed into a tv career when serials were no longer a thing.  All told, he had a career that lasted over 25 years with over 200 appearances.  He even married Marilyn Manson (no, not that one).  He died in 1964 at the age of 58.  And apparently, he loved him some RC Cola!

See you soon!